What happens when your mom no longer knows who you are, but you’re still the one showing up, loving her, caring for her, and finding reasons to laugh together?
In this deeply honest conversation, Tonya Maurer shares what it really looks like to care for her mom, Ginny, through Alzheimer’s, from the exhaustion, guilt, difficult decisions and grief to the funny, beautiful, completely unexpected moments of joy that still remain.
We talk about the terrifying night Ginny wandered, the difficult transition to memory care, a recent hospitalization and bringing her home again, and Tonya’s decision to welcome the support of hospice.
We also talk about something caregivers don’t hear enough: acceptance.
What happens when we stop asking, “Why is this happening to us?” and stop fighting a reality we cannot change? Can accepting what is actually create more peace, and allow us to be more present for the person who is still here?
Tonya shares the moments Alzheimer’s has not taken: gardening, laughter, games, a pool-noodle sword fight, a puzzle completed entirely Ginny’s own way, and those moments when being her daughter and caregiver feels like a gift.
We also discuss:
• The grief of losing pieces of someone who is still here
• What caregiving really asks of a family
• Knowing when care needs to change
• What hospice support can actually look like
• Radical acceptance and finding peace
• What friends can do to truly support a caregiver
• Why “Let me know if you need anything” often isn’t enough
• Finding community and asking for help
• How grief and joy can exist at exactly the same time
If you are caring for someone you love, or know someone who is, this conversation is for you.
You are allowed to acknowledge how hard this is and still notice what is beautiful.
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🧡 Don’t Be a Miserable Cow
Choose peace. Choose joy. And don’t be a miserable cow.
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